What It Really Means to Build Confidence in Kids (and Ourselves)
Charlie walks across a log over a creek after multiple tries, building confidence with each step.
Confidence Isn’t What We’ve Been Taught
Confidence is one of the greatest gifts we can nurture in children. But too often, it gets misunderstood. We think of it as something loud, flashy, or tied to achievement. In reality, confidence is quieter than that. It’s an inner knowing. A belief that says, "I can try," even when the outcome is uncertain.
How Confidence Grows, One Step at a Time
As a cognitive psychologist and mom of twins, I’ve spent years studying how belief systems form early in life. And I’ve seen firsthand how powerful it can be when a child feels safe enough to try, supported enough to fail, and encouraged enough to keep going.
A few weeks ago, I captured a moment in Ellijay that reminded me what confidence really looks like. Oxford walked across a log over a creek with ease. His steps were steady, sure. And then came Charlie. Her first tries were wobbly—uncertain. Then she crossed on her knees. And finally, she stood up and walked across with confidence lighting up her whole face.
Watch as Oxford and Charlie cross a log over a creek in Ellijay, Georgia. Oxford walks across with ease, while Charlie works through a progression from cautious steps, to crawling on her knees, to finally standing tall and walking across with confidence. A real-life glimpse into how kids build belief in themselves, one moment at a time.
That’s the thing about confidence: it builds quietly, step by step.
What Confidence Really Looks Like
It’s not something kids either have or don’t have. It’s something they grow into—through repeated experiences of courage, curiosity, and connection.
Confidence looks like:
Pausing when something feels scary—and getting curious instead of pushing through.
Asking a question without worrying if it sounds silly.
Saying "I don't know" and being open to learning.
Showing up again after a disappointment.
We’re Still Learning Too
And while we often focus on building confidence in kids, many of us are on that journey too. Because somewhere along the way, we may have internalized messages that made us question our worth. Or we learned to equate confidence with perfection.
But confidence isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about trusting yourself to take the next step, even when the path isn’t clear.
Modeling Confidence for Our Kids
One of the most powerful ways we can teach confidence is by modeling it. When kids see us trying new things, speaking kindly to ourselves, and honoring our own growth, they learn it’s safe for them to do the same.
It Starts Within
Building confidence is an inside job. And it starts with where we place our focus.
When we stop measuring ourselves against others and start listening inwardly, we remember who we really are. We remember that our worth isn’t tied to our output. That feeling good doesn’t require perfect circumstances. That we can choose hope, joy, and belief—right here, right now.
Confidence doesn’t come from the outside. It starts within. And from that space, it grows.
Let’s Keep Growing—Together
Want to join a community that believes in raising confident kids (and showing up for our own growth too)? Let’s keep going together.
